Every time I think I’m over you I get the same dream. The dream where I see you with someone else. And I’ve said it multiple times, that I don’t care whether or not you are mine so long as you are happy, the issue is that you are not. You are not happy with this guy, but you want to be, I can see it in your eyes. You want him to make you happy the same way I wanted you to make me happy. But he won’t because he doesn’t care about you and treats you like shit. All he does is take advantage of you and only gives back enough to make you want more but never enough to be happy. And I’d tell you that, but you’d tell me that it’s none of my business and to get the hell out of your life. And then I wake up sweating and crying wondering why I care about you so much. And it really wouldn’t be any of my business, what you do with your life is your own choice. I just wished that I was your choice, whatever the hell it is. I wished I was good enough for you, or bad enough, or whatever combination of good, bad, weird, strong, good looking it is that you are looking for. I wished I was that and I can’t stop thinking about you even when I’m sleeping. I want to quit because I’m too scared to see you but I don’t want to lose my only real chance of being able to see you even though I’m constantly trying to avoid you. I don’t want to finish your book because it’s the last thing I have that ties me to you and I don’t want our chapter in the story to end yet. So here I am sitting here at 3 am, sweat on my back, eyes stinging, going out of my mind and getting ready to choke on alcohol to try and push you out of my head and just wishing on some off chance that you might read this and just take me back, or at least to just hold me and sing me to sleep
I miss you.
Do you ever miss me too?"